1. |
This Winter
02:15
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|
help me i'm falling right through the cracks
body policed with a system of tags
always assumptions, leering desire
maybe i'll burn in jahannam's fire
left my sanity out in the junkyard
can't pretend that i'm just a boss's punch card
spent some time in the hospital this winter
terrified i'll burn in hell as a sinner
if they see me as male i'll be trapped inside expectations of betrayal
dominance and strength in the streets or in bed
masculinity's norms really fuck with your head
but maybe i'm just part of the guys
gender's pulsing through my veins and searing out my eyes
right onto my nose
biopolitics always has got me exposed
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2. |
Polar
01:41
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lost me again
shave my head
grow my beard
never living without fear
tattered frayed my psychic fabric
forget me i'm so erratic
i love you all so much more than you can ever know
i wish i could show you how much love is in my broken heart
but then i start to show you reasons to drift apart
cannot hide cannot run
from the symptomatic mess that i've become
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3. |
Hardcore Boi
02:34
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|
i've had more bad dreams in the last week than i can remember
since, well, since forever
feeling dismembered
can i keep my heart and my soul and my spirit oh so tender?
walk around town in my earth crisis t-shirt
hands x-ed up cuz i'm straight edge and i'm vegan
feeling good about myself in a neutral space
call me butch, call me fag
i might need another name
i might need another name
to describe liminality i'm living every day
cannot say i'm living without shame entirely
but i am trying to defy this society
striving for sobriety
but i fall back into despondent anxiety
writing all my thoughts will just generate a library
existential angst is always so tiring
my whole life is a production of systems of power that i have no control over
how do i ever realize who i am when i'm trapped in the matrix of domination?
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4. |
Slipping Away
03:55
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i hope with all my heart that i'm not trapped in a self-destructive spiral
hope that i'm not lost in denial
hope that i'm not becoming something vile
hope that i'll see an end to my life of trials
maybe i'll be welcomed home when i've breathed (done) my last and my time on earth has reached its final
but who the hell am i though?
who am i inside though?
lost my narrative
maybe it's inherited
but i wanna cry though
but i wanna die though
cannot leave my loved ones all alone
gotta pray the verse of the throne
gotta get my bearings in a world made of stone
lord take me home.....
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yønderwuff Salem, Massachusetts
vegan • trans • muslim • anarchist
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