I won't lie I am traumatized by the violence that I have been through
emotional turmoil cutting through my sinews
cutting up my mental
fucking up my ability to find my emotional center
hatred placed upon me for my gender
cuz they always see me as pretending
never wanna recognize my essence
all this hurt inside petrified never relenting
help me find my peace through my raps I'm always venting
feels like they take advantage
all these fellow creatures always taking me for granted
putting on the damage
wanna keep my empathy but feeling disenchanted from some scammers
trauma from my parents
trauma from my loved ones
trauma from the people who I trusted with the repercussions
now im feeling like my heart got a concussion
feeling like I'm bludgeoned by a love become corrupted
falling from the precipice, pushed from the roof of the edifice
hated by the ones who claim a precedent from Genesis
hated and betrayed by fate like Oedipus
emotional recklessness from the ones I loved despite their negligence
please Allah grant me healing
I'm screaming please grant me healing
grant me a modicum of solace
guide me with Your prophets
grant me increase in my constancy and knowledge
grant me forbearance
grant me forgiveness
grant me the wisdom of consummate vision
grant me the strength to live up to my ideals
I feel that You know what I reveal and conceal
feel like none of this is real
question my sanity, question this life of fucking vanity
question the values of my family
fantasy they forced on me led to calamity
why do people always seem to show their inhumanity
parasitic vampiric leeches in the name of christianity
or whatever ideology they can use to diffuse their rancid obscenity
beat to "i thought i was snorkmaiden but i was really the groke this whole time," prod. RVRHIV
recording, mixing, and mastering facilitated by bunny shilakowsky
dedicated, as with all yønderwuff music, to trans survival • this project would not be possible without Black and Indigenous contributions to my life, to art, to faith, and to the world at large • i still swear allegiance to self, humyn, earth + animal liberation xxx
Avant-garde electronic artist Abdu Ali's latest is a fascinating autobiographical brew of punk, free jazz, rap, soul, club music, and more. Bandcamp New & Notable Jun 25, 2019